ctrlshiftsea

희망이 있는 곳엔 반드시 시련이 있네

please don't expect any sort of consistency. this was made just to remind myself of what to write.
please read my works with "disclaimer: completely fictional and full of personal character projection" in mindlocked fics mean you need an archive account to read it 🙈msg me if you want my attention; im not that active on socials anymore besides dms

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PUBLISHED

IN PROGRESS

[ jankos / miky ]

COMPLETED

League of Legends RPF

BTS

WORKS IN PROGRESS

STILL WRITING

[ jankos / miky ]

Football RPF

DRABBLES OF DUBIOUS COMPLETION

League of Legends RPF

F1

2 AM Ramblings on My Relationship with RPF

TL;DR: please read my works with "disclaimer: completely fictional and full of personal character projection" in mind; I hope to delete this at some point once I'm out of this damper headspace

Writing and consuming RPF is honestly... a very strange sort of idea when you take a step back from it all. The argument being that its the fetishization of real people and their relationships, and thats not cool. I can see their point completely, really! And yet, there are still tons of RPF work being written/drawn/talked about to this day (KPOP being the most popular example). I'm definitely no stranger to the idea, having been in multiple fandoms across many different platforms across the years. I don't need to be writing this at all, really. But it's mostly to find peace for myself, in content I find personal to me, and my own enjoyment.

KPOP has this become such an integral part to its fandom that its almost become a marketing technique to "bait" these things out. To which the morality of that is another conversation of itself (don't be one of those people who unironically buy into and try to push for it though). But in this instance, because of the whole "idol" status of the groups, it feels a bit better when writing because you are mostly taking their "idol personas" as your character rather than their actual person into account. BTS in particular have tried to separate the persona from the person, which is a refreshing self-awareness from their part, especially from being a 3rd gen group. And in general, the "untouchable" status of kpop groups makes it easier to write about them from afar. It leads to the fandom being very interesting after multiple transmutations through the recent decade to become what it is now.

Which brings us to the section that probably all of you reading clicked on here to find out about: LOL RPF. Obviously at this point, I've already published something under that tag. It's done, it's dusted. If it's the "idol" status for kpop groups, you could almost say it's the branding for pro players (jankos being the loud touchy "gay" one; miky being the quiet handsome support). But there is one thing that they're missing: the untouchable factor. If you really wanted, you could talk to your favorite player, and they're more likely respond. And unlike kpop, they actually are aware of this subsection of their fandom (TSM I'm looking at you). It makes them that much closer to us, the fans, which is a terrifying double edged sword.

Maybe it's the fact that a parasocial relationship with them is that much easier, but it makes it that much more... uncomfortable? in a sense when digging out the writing pad to imagine them in different situations. AU's not to that extreme, but still. Just taking a step back from all of this, I grew up with a lot of the players; watched them succeed, fail, and get back up again. Hell, I've watched Luka from the moment he made it out of EULCS Challenger and now he's going to be on the same country as me. Seeing them succeed is personal, just because of how long I stuck with the game and the players. And being emotionally tied to that makes my first forays into actually writing lol rpf seem like, a betrayal of intimacy almost.

Though Jankos has said on stream that he enjoys the (chat) fanfiction we send him so xD

I know this was sorta supposed to be an argument for lol rpf, but it doesn't seem like it. Really, I think it's fine to continue writing and consuming it. I wouldn't go so far as to project it onto the subjects themselves, and I hope they understand that isn't mine, or any other fic authors' goals. I can't speak for everyone, but for myself. Writing has been one of my favorite hobbies since I was a kid. And the people I write about are essentially my muses. Basically, I want it to be perceived as a "fanon" version of themselves, based off their branding personalities. Their presence in my stories are just an imagined version of their persona, and not, idk, my 50 page psychoanalysis on their person. If it seems that way, its usually 99.9% just me projecting my own experiences onto the character. The more I write and think about this, the more useless and pretentious I'm finding it. But with this much bs packed into a couple paragraphs, something is bound to make sense, right? Anyway, don't take this to heart, this is just my own feelings on this and shouldn't affect how anybody goes about consuming content (though in general fiction =/= reality). Hope this doesn't scare anybody off from talking to me, I try not to get this serious majority of the time.
Thanks for reading? I don't think I got my point across at all, so you're never going to get those 5 minutes back, unfortunately. But I can link you this video of this sick pug.

LOOK AT HIM